Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
