I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
And then he peed in my hair
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
