it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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