TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
