Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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