Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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