it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
