I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
