i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize