why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
