i need an iv and a liver transplant
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
