when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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