The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
