do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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