this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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