he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
