apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I am mentally ready for anal.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
