it wasn't lemon gatorade
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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