Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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