yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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