tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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