theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
