Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
