Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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