forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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