she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
