im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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