He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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