Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
