was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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