these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
