i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
