I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
