all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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