The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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