His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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