He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
