I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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