Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
