Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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