Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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