fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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