Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
