I must be too annoying 4 u.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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