He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
