It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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