I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize