Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
