doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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