Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
