Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
