yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
