he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
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Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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