he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
