he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
