we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You're like the curious george of whores
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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