respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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