Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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