I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
