I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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