dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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