that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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