just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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