Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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