I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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