remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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