i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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